Move on, Looking Forward
by Deathwonderwish
Summary: Loving can be hard, moving on from love can be harder. But they surpassed it. "I moved on, I moved on from my past, you don't love me, at least not love me for me. You shout move on Toshiro" she said to him.


**Great, I actually published this. I finished it in one day! I couldn't believe that myself either, so here it is, after who knows how long.**

 **Sorry that I'm not updating the other stories, I don't really know how to write the others anymore.**

 **But anyways, this idea was hunting me at night, and the next morning I just had to write it before my mind go insane. And I actually think my style is getting better. (I think)**

 **The idea for this story is not the type I would usually write, Romance with Drama, but in the end I liked how this turned out.**

 **I don't own Bleach**

* * *

She, set on the railings. The place where they first met. 2 years ago. She set alone watching the sunset. Knowing that the day will end soon. Of course no one is that stupid. Ironic...  
"What are you doing here?" Asked a new voice. A cold and emotionless voice.  
"I don't know, do you?" She didn't need to turn around to know who said that. She had felt his reiatsu earlier that day. He didn't say anything. And went over to set by her side. Although he kept the distance. She didn't mind and was already used to it anyways. (He always do that) she knew. He liked to keep his distance with others. And she understands perfectly.  
"Then what are you doing here?" She asked.  
He looked at the sky he once said that bring back memories "is it a crime to come and see my best friend?" He asked  
"No, is not" _that is if you even consider me a friend_ she thought. "How are you doing these days? Are you feeling better?" She tryed to worry about him. Not because it was him, but she was a good person. Or she kept on telling herself that. Her true feelings? She wasn't so sure.  
"I'm doing ok i guess. I have too much work to do to remember that. And _she_ don't appear in my dreams anymore" he said. She knew who this _her_ is. And she didn't need to ask more.  
She smiled slightly "right. That's good to hear isn't it? But is if you are so busy then what's your reason to come. I know there is no way they'll ever sent a captain here for no reason" she asked but to him it sounded like a tease.  
"No, i know. But this time i'm on vacation. Do you mind letting me stay at your house?" He asked.  
"I'm sure dad and Yuzu won't mind. But Ichigo i'm not sure. He don't really like seeing shinigamis around nowadays. You better be careful"  
He nodded. Ichigo Kurosaki lost his powers. "Is ok. Then i'll find another place to stay."  
"Sorry"  
"No, is ok. I understand that he's hurting."  
"Well is getting late. I should go. If not Yuzu will get worried. And you know how my dad can get" in reality. She simply didn't want to be at his presence. It hurts.  
"Right, see you" he said.  
 _Good_ "bye Toshiro" she waved and they parted.  
She had a crush on him. She didn't know what happened but Kurosaki Karin had a crush on someone. And that someone just had to be Hitsugaya Toshiro. The captain of 10th division. The one who loved Hinamori Momo. The lieutenant of 5th died after the winter war. And he was sad after losing his childhood friend. And lover.  
 _Why life had to be so difficult?_ She sighed.  
Things could have been easier but that never happened. Toshiro was there when she died. It was stupid of her when she died from a car crash. She was 16 when she died. Before her death, Toshiro came to visit her, and almost every time, they talked about Momo, about their memories, and how he wasn't going to see her again. Karin listened even if it was hurting her heart. Every time he thanked her, she would always tell him "is nothing, that's what friends are for"  
"Are you ready?" He asked once her soul appeared nearby. He looked at her with pain and hurt in his eyes.  
"I guess i am. Do i have anything else to live for? Is not like i feared of death before. Beside... i might not even remember anything. When i arrive to the soul society." She sighed. Life was painful. For that reason in the after life the souls tends to forget their past. Truth was, she would miss her twin, and friends. But what could she do? She couldn't control her life.  
"I promise, I'll find you afterwards." He promised.  
She shocked her head "no, there is no need. Lets just let things go how they are supposed to. That way we won't be breaking any rules." She forced a smile. "Besides. One of those days i'll go to the academy. And I have heard how big the soul society is, it would take forever" _don't keep a promise so easily broken_ she thought the last part to herself  
"Right..." he sighed. He leaned over to hug her close to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her. But she didn't respond "I'll miss you Karin" he whispered  
She didn't say anything and the last thing she saw was a single tear dropping from his beautiful teal eyes. Before everything turned black in her vision.

 _That's what fate decide to give me anyways._

* * *

Many years passed…

"Tsubasa come on run faster! We need to get to the academy before sunset. Or we'll never be accepted in!" A black haired girl shouted at a boy behind her. Who was running for his life. They both looked to be in their late teens  
"Karin, we still have time! Wait for me!" The boy named Tsubasa said.  
Karin sighed. Many years had passed. In reality Karin remembered everything about her past life. But she never cared about them. When she first wake up she ended up in district 89, one of the worst districts in the soul society. She tried her best to survive, stealing food and other things. She hated to do that. But there was no any other choice. And she was thankful for the fights she used to get with her father. And the training she had when she was alive. Because it came in handy once in awhile.  
One week later. She saved a defenseless boy her age from a group of older people. His name was Tsubasa. He had to eat too. One of the reasons he was in that situation in the first place. Stealing food.  
So after that . They became best friends. And then something more. Even with the difficulty of their life. They had each other and was happy with each other, she had easily forgotten the weird feeling she once had for Toshiro, because it became meaningless, in other words she moved on, and she matured. And together they survived many years. She taught him how to fight, and he taught her how to survive better in the area. Since he had been living there for a long time. One day she decided to join the academy because, that way they could have an even better life.  
"But i want to get there. And you are not helping." She laughed  
"Right. Ok fine, let's go." He said letting her take his hands. They were running towards a better life together.

* * *

He set on his desk. Looking out the window. It had been years. And she never appeared. He was slowly moving on from Momo. And his heart moved onto the Kurosaki girl. He realised that the day she died. She was there when he was hurt. She was there for him when he was broken from Momo's death. He wouldn't love her like he loved Momo though because he realised that the love toward Momo had changed into something different. More like how a brother would love his sister. And the words she said to him before she died hurt him even more. Not to look for her. He didn't because it was something she told him not to, but he couldn't help but worry.  
"Captain, tomorrow is the academy opening, she might be going." Matsumoto entered the office with a pile of papers. In her hands. But those papers were finished. After _that_ day. She learned to work. When captain Hitsugaya became even more angrier than before. No one dared to disobey him in any ways. Some may say that he became like captain Kuchiki when he lost his wife.  
Matsumoto knew the reason. Karin-chan wasn't there to comfort him anymore. And how long had that been going on? She tried to recall. Right 20 years already. Even if that small number to shinigamis was nothing. To him it was how long he had waited for her.

"how do you know that Matsumoto, she might never going to join the academy. It has already been 20 years, why would she join now, if she hasn't before?" he questioned coldly. Every time when the academy opens up for new students. He always volunteered to the captain's visit day at their entrance ceremony. But the person he wanted to see never showed up.

"captain, you can't lose hope. You'll never know if she'll be or not if you don't go. What if this time she will be? Won't you lose the chance to see her?" Matsumoto said.

"you said that last year too, and the year before. Why would it be different?" _why does captain have to be so stubborn_

"I have a feeling! I have feeling that she'll be there this time. I don't know why but deep in my heart, she'll be here, she'll attend the academy" she said, after leaving the papers on his desk, she put her hands on her chest.

"fine, I'll trust you this once. Tell them that we'll go this year too." he said.

"of course" Rangiku tried not to pity him, but she really feel sad for him, she watched her captain grow up from the little brat to a man who had problems with his own love life. She wished him luck.

* * *

"wow so this is the academy…" Karin amused with what she saw in front of her. Tsubasa not far behind her panting from running too much at once

"Tsubasa, isn't this amazing!?" she asked.

"yeah, it's cool, I guess" he sighed "Karin, I don't know how, but you are too eager" he smiled.

She rubbed his brown hair, and lend in to kiss him. He wrapped his arms around her to respond the kiss. "I know that, but look at the bright side, we'll become shinigamis! We'll have powers to kill the hollows that always attack us, and more importantly we'll have food and a better place to live" she said.

"I know, but even that, I still want to tell you that these 20 years with you I'm very happy." he said as they walked together to the gates in their new uniforms.

"I'm happy too" she replied.

"hey let's not be late to the opening ceremony. A captain and a lieutenant are visiting." he said.

"right, let's go" they followed the other students, to the crowd surrounding the gates. They were lucky to get a spot in the front lines. There they would see better.

"all life I've lived, I could never imagine how I'm standing here now. You know, I really wants to thank you, for teaching me how to be strong, and how to defend myself."

She smiled "don't be stupid, I should be thanking you. You teached me how to survive in district 89- look they are coming" she said pointing at far from them the gate, two figures entered the gates. From where they were, they couldn't see well the shinigami, but when she spotted the white hair, she was frozen in her spot. _Toshiro…_

He had grown, he was taller than she last remembered, then again it has been 20 years, and even she grew. His hair hasn't changed at all, it was still spiky, but somehow they were messier than before, like he hadn't bothered to brush them. He looked tired, and… with simple words, he looked horrible.

She didn't move, her face just stayed like that. And by the change of expression, she should guess that they saw her as well. Toshiro throw her one look before passed them.

"Karin? Are you ok?" Tsubasa asked.

"oh, I'm fine, that captain, he surprised me" she said. It wasn't a lie, he did surprised her. And she was glad that she had already moved on, it didn't hurt anymore _I guess the that crush meant nothing to me after all_ she laughed inside of her.

"I know, he has a number 10, he's the captain of squad 10, although, he looked a little too -I don't know…- horrible to be a captain? I mean, look at his hair, is really messy"

Karin tried not to giggle "you are right"

After they talked a little more, the other students had already entered the building. So they followed them too. After inside the building they parted because Karin was in advanced class, and Tsubasa was in normal class

She was alone again. She she walked alone to her new class. At the moment no body was still in the hall. She was kind of lost.

"Karin…" she turned around at the mention of her name, his voice hadn't changed either, deep but it was soft, almost like a whisper.

Toshiro was scared, scared of what would happen from there when he called her name, she turned around but he was still scared of how she would react to his presence, did she even remember him, remember of their friendship back when she was still alive, earlier, he saw she was with the other boy, they looked to be very close.

"Captain Hitsugaya" she bowed. Knowing that in the soul society she couldn't disrespect him anymore. "do you need something?" she asked looking at his eyes. They didn't show any emotions though.

"do you… remember anything?" he asked, his voice very low, almost like he was scared of asking it. Karin decided that it wasn't like him at all.

"I do" she simply said, to be honest she didn't want to talk to him at the moment, not trying to avoid him though, she still had a class to go. But still no need to lie.

"you didn't call me Toshiro?" it was more of a statement than a question. "you never respected me before, why now?" he asked. A little hurt by her choice of words. And for once in his life, hearing someone say his title hurt him.

"I know, but before is before. I was too young to understand things like respect others, besides, I wasn't a shinigami before. But now is different. But anyways, I really can't talk right, now. I need to find my class. If you want we can talk another day when I'm free from my classes, then we can catch up" she said

"oh, right I'm sorry. I'll be seeing you around then" he said. She nodded and she parted off to her own class.

Unknown to him, after that they never had any chance to talk. He waited more time.

* * *

Another six years passed, Karin and Tsubasa, graduated from the academy and they both became amazing shinigamis. Karin was placed in the 10th because of her knowledge of the human world, but she still believed that Toshiro placed her in his squad on purpose. A high ranked seated office no less. She didn't want to be in squad 10. She wanted to be in squad 2! Or even 11 was an option.

In those 6 years, they never meet again. Every time Karin felt him, she just pretended she was busy, we'll she was always busy so in the end he stopped showing. Because he thought it would be better to talk once she graduated from the academy.

She knocked on his office's door, and entered at the loud come in from his part.

"Karin? What are you doing here?" he asked, a little shocked.

"I want an explanation, why am I in squad 10? I remember clearly I asked for squad 2 or even 11 if is possible, I don't want to stuck in a squad where I have to work with paperwork more than fight" she claimed angrily.

"you are placed in my squad?" he asked. No one told him that, they didn't even give him any profile about his new members.

"yeah, did you do that on purpose?" she asked.

"no, I didn't know. The academy place you in squads depending on your scales, I had nothing to do with this" he was actually happy that she was placed in his squad. It was the time he told her his feelings. After all she graduated and it wouldn't be strange any more to date a academy student.

"I see, sorry for bothering then captain Hitsugaya" she bowed then left the room, but before he stopped her.

"wait!" he shouted, and she stopped then turned around to look at him.

"what is it, captain?" she asked.

"first could you close the door, there is something I want to talk about. Second, please don't call me captain Hitsugaya when there is no one around." he said.

She did what she was told, and closed the door behind her. She went over to the couch and set down. "you actually wanted me to call your name instead of your title? Wasn't that you always wanted, everyone to all you captain Hitsugaya?" she asked curiously.

"I…" he paused thinking what he wanted to say in his mind "I missed you, I mean we haven't seen each other for a long time, we last saw each other 6 years ago. And well before that I was sad by your death. That's when i realised something…" he paused again. Karin listened carefully trying to guess what he wanted to say. But couldn't read him. "I realised that you were always there with me, you were with me when I tried to get over _her_ , and you comforted me. And well… you death hurt me alot…" he continued. Karin was getting frustrated.

"what are you implying Toshiro? Go to the point will you?"

"right, we'll what I wanted to say is that, I think I love you, will you accept me?" he asked, more like pleaded

 _Well that was… um unexpected_ she thought for awhile thinking of something to say, that will reject him, but not in a way that will hurt him. But she didn't expected this. Didn't he say that forgetting Hinamori was impossible?

"Toshiro… I…" she sighed "to be honest, I had a crush on you when I was alive, and I guess that was one of the reason, I helped you in the first place. Although I guess somehow, I owned you from when you helped me back then. I was thankful. I won't lie with you, I thought you were the coolest guy I have met in my life. And I thought I loved you too. You know it was kind of painful when every time we met you only talked about her, and that you only see me as your friend, back then I thought you don't even consider me that. But I guess that's all in the past now. Because I realised now that the feelings I had before was nothing but confusion caused by the feeling I had of owning you something. I matured and I guess my feelings matured too…" she paused, glancing at his eyes, they were still cold, and hurt. "and well… what I'm trying to say here is that… I moved on, I moved on from my past, that's what you should do too. I know you don't love me, at least not love me for _me,_ but you had the feeling of owning me something, and you don't want to feel heartless about it if you don't repay me. I'm sorry but I have to reject you" she almost whispered the last part. But he still heard it.

"I see, I understand it now. I'm sorry… but I'll try to prove you that I do love you." he said. Understanding a little better about the situation.

"no, you don't understand. I'm trying to tell you to forget about the past, and don't waste your time on someone who'll never love you back anymore. I'm sorry I already have someone. He… we are really close. I don't want to leave him even if you really do love me." she said.

"I see, is him, right?" he said, nodded "we could at least go back to be friends right? We kind of fallen out of our relationship" he said.

"of course, why can't we remain friends. But seriously, please don't waste your time on me, and find someone you'll truly love, and that she'll love you back" she looked at him with hopeful eyes.

 _I only want you…_ he thought in his head but nodded "yeah, I guess I should"

"great!" she grinned "I'll be seeing you later Toshiro, I'm really busy right now" she said and then disappeared from his office.

100 years, was a short time for shinigamis. Karin got accepted into the 2nd squad as the lieutenant after Soifon finally got tired of her old lieutenant. Besides, she actually beat him in a fight, and her bankai was almost complete.

Her relationship with Tsubasa growled stronger. The mentioned himself reached to 3rd seat in squad 9. All their friends teased them that one day they'll get married.

It wasn't a bad idea. The two of them thought.

Toshiro was still cold, after her rejection. He acted ignorant most of the time. Karin felt bad for him because he never found anyone who he could love. And he was always the same. So distanced with others.

Of course, both left him. Hinamori died, and Karin well, he realised his feelings a little too late. The only thing he could say was he didn't have luck in love life.

One week later Karin and Tsubasa got engaged. But they couldn't get married right way because of a war coming up.

They couldn't after the war either, because Tsubasa died protecting her.

 _Life is pain, the memories, it won't go away._

* * *

Toshiro tried to to comfort her after it, because she fallen into depression. Wanted to kill herself to be with her fiance. Toshiro stopped her though.

"you know what?" she asked as they set on the roof of one of the towers in soul society.

"huh?"

"I think history always repeats itself, we were once in this position, only that you are the one comforting me now. Now look what fate had done to us? We were back in the same situation again. But you know what's important?" she paused. "we are both unlucky when it come to love. And we always end up facing each other, could that be our fate?" she asked. Looking at the large sky.

"it could, but do you mind spending your time with me?" he asked. "my feelings toward you never left, Karin, they are still here in my hurt." he said putting one hand on his chest.

She slightly smiled "even if I was sad, I guess the best way is always move on, right. Thank you for waiting. I'll try to return those feelings too."

He didn't say anything, just wrapped his arms around her.

"you are right, this must be fate. We keep coming back to each other no matter what comes in between" he mumbled.

 _True..._

Fin...

* * *

Ok, finished. I know this is like the typical Momo dies, or she rejects Toshiro, then he goes to Karin to either let her comfort him, or use her to get Momo jealous. Then whatever happens Karin gets hurt, and Toshiro realise his feelings, then they'll get together to a happy ending. But I hope this is not so cliche, I tend to avoid writing cliches.

Well hope you liked the story.


End file.
